dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
