1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize