maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
