We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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