My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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