So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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