i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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