my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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