How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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