we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
