So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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