He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
there is glitter all over my balls
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize