We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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