so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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