But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
