I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
