wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
