she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize