I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Watching her eat just hurts me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
