all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
