i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
