so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
