What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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