he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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