If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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