mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
