How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
