i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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