Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
