mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
