What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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