I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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