haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
