I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
