i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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