I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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