Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
