my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
