I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
