hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
