p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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