It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize