his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
