We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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