It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize