laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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