Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize