You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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