i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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