After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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