I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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