I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
