I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
