But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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