He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize