I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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