girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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