after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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