i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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